The Magic of Shared Media

Staff Therapist Rachel Chada, MHC

“Okay, I have to know…are you watching Heated Rivalry right now?”

There was a period of two weeks last month where I heard that question come up in no less than half of my sessions. While it took me a few days to recognize that I had to jump on the spicy gay hockey bandwagon, the conversations that followed reminded me of one of my favorite, often unspoken, tools in therapy: the magic of shared media.

There’s something kind of special that sparks when you realize you’re watching the same show, reading the same book, or listening to the same podcast as someone. Depending on your interpretation of that media, it can be an instant connector. Now, when that someone is your therapist? Jackpot. You’ve just unlocked a whole new language that you can use in session.

Much like the rest of the world, my clients were set ablaze by the romance of Ilya and Shane, but it brought up something different for everyone. We weren’t just talking about the steamy love story, we were exploring these huge, meaningful existential themes (and, okay, a little bit of the steamy love story). When we consume media, we’re subconsciously watching for reminders; reminders of ourselves, others in our lives, or patterns we can recognize. Often, when we see familiar themes reflected in media, we get to know ourselves a little better. As a therapist, I can’t always guess how a client will react to a particular piece of media, but when I get to hear their interpretation, it deepens my understanding of them so much more.

Now, this doesn’t mean I can always watch the same shows, read the same books, or listen to the same content as my clients (I need some time to get lost in the worlds that I love), but when there is genuine crossover, it’s always an area we can return to in session.

Outside of therapy, I encourage you to find spaces where you can connect over shared media. Whether that’s joining a book club, popping into a discord community, or going to a live watch party, there are so many opportunities to use a shared interest to bring you closer to others (and inevitably, to yourself). 

That way, in conversation or in session, you can casually drop, “that was my ‘I’m coming to the cottage’ moment” and everyone will instantly understand.