What Does It Actually Mean to “Process” an Emotion?
Molly Rushing, Advanced Clincal Fellow
“Processing” is one of those therapy words that can mean many different things to many people. But what does it actually mean to process an emotion? Perhaps you have had the experience of thinking about or talking through your emotions, yet still feeling stuck. The clue is in the word process itself. A process is not a single action, but a series of actions that lead to a new state of understanding. In therapy, this means that emotional processing is more involved than reflection alone.
Four Ways We Relate to Emotions
1. Feeling
This is the raw experience of emotion: sensations in the body, impulses, images, and thoughts. Feeling happens automatically. It does not require insight, effort, or intention.
2. Ruminating
Rumination is repetitive thinking about the emotion. Why it is there, what it means, or what should have happened differently. It often feels productive or analytical, but it usually keeps emotional charge cycling rather than moving.
3. Regulating
Regulation is about reducing intensity. Breathing, grounding, distraction, or containment help bring the nervous system back into a tolerable range. Regulation is important and often necessary, but it does not complete the emotional process.
4. Processing
Processing is what allows an emotion to change form. It involves staying in contact with the emotion long enough for new information, meaning, or movement to emerge, without becoming overwhelmed or shutting it down.
Processing is experiential, not just intellectual.
Why Insight Alone Isn’t Enough
You can understand why you are angry and still feel just as reactive. That is because insight lives primarily in cognition, while emotional charge lives in the body, the nervous system, and implicit memory. Processing requires engaging all of these levels, not only the cognitive one.
A Simple Tool: Processing Anger Step by Step
This can be done in writing, aloud, or through movement or image.
Step 1: Locate it
Ask: Where do I feel anger in my body right now?
Describe sensation only, such as tight, hot, heavy, or sharp.
Step 2: Name its job
Instead of asking “Why am I angry?” ask:
What is this anger trying to protect, defend, or signal?
Step 3: Let it speak without acting
Finish this sentence slowly, without editing:
“If my anger could speak freely, it would say…”
Step 4: Track the shift
Notice what happens next. The emotion may soften, clarify, intensify briefly, or move somewhere else. That shift, however subtle, is processing.
The Goal Isn’t to Get Rid of Emotions
Processing does not mean resolving everything or feeling better. It means increasing your capacity to stay present with emotional experience until it can move, inform, and integrate. The greater this capacity, the greater your ability to process emotion.