Can I Talk About Sex in Therapy?
Anna Welch, Advanced Clinical Fellow
Talking about sex in therapy can feel intimidating. Some may even wonder if it’s inappropriate, off-topic, or might put the therapist in an uncomfortable position. It takes time to develop the trust necessary for any kind of vulnerable disclosure, but something about talking about sex in therapy can feel especially daunting.
That said, just as grief and stress are universal human experiences, we all experience sexuality in one way or another. If we avoid acknowledging our sexuality in sessions, we close the door on exploring an essential element of our personhood. You deserve the space to share the entirety of your emotional life—including your sex life and sexuality.
Maybe part of your hesitation in sharing this part of yourself is feeling unsure of how your therapist will respond. If you’re feeling this way, consider naming your hesitation in session. That might sound like: “I’d like to talk about my sex life, but I’m feeling nervous because we’ve never discussed it before,” Or “I’ve been thinking of bringing up my sex life in sessions, but I’ve worried it might make you uncomfortable.”
Given the prevalence of messages of shame about sex in our culture, it’s completely reasonable to feel hesitant. But when we name the nervousness or shame we may be carrying, we often find it begins to dissipate in the light. The right therapist will welcome conversations about sex and sexuality just as openly as they would discussions about work, friendships, or family dynamics. In fact, they’ll likely feel grateful for your willingness to bring your whole self into the room.
Some topics you might explore in therapy include:
Feeling disconnected from your desire
Experiencing confusion, shame, or pain around sex
Difficulties navigating intimacy with a partner (or partners)
A desire to have more—or less—sex
Renegotiating your relationship to sex after bodily changes or giving birth
Therapy should be a safe, exploratory space where you can bring your unedited humanity to the table and trust that it will be met with warmth and non-judgment. If you're curious about beginning therapy, feel free to reach out—we’d love to connect.