A Spiral Not a Line: Healing Isn’t Linear
Jewels Tauzin, Advanced Clinical Fellow
When we begin therapy, it’s tempting to think that healing will be linear. We have an idea in our heads of how our lives will take shape, what they’ll change into– as a recovering perfectionist, I know better than anyone. The truth about healing is that it’s not only not linear, but it’s a spiral. Even though we may spiral back to the place we thought we had healed from, we’re able to see it completely differently, just as we would if we were inside of a spiral. I love this analogy because it helps us realize that even if we are revisiting the same wound, it doesn’t mean that we’re back at the beginning– we’re just returning with new eyes.
The Spiral of Self
A spiral moves in circles, yes—but it also expands. Every time you return to something painful, you’re doing so with more tools, more insight, and more capacity to stay. You aren’t who you were the last time this came up, which helps us remember that healing is less about climbing a ladder and more about deepening, more about staying with yourself rather than escaping what is hurting.
Why the Line Misleads Us
Linear thinking makes us treat discomfort like a detour or a problem to fix. We think, “Why am I feeling this again? I thought I was past this.” But feelings don’t operate on a timeline, they return to be felt in fuller ways.
Let Yourself Loop
If you’re in a moment that feels like a step backward—pause. Instead of feeling shame about being in an old pattern, reframing the spiral as a new opportunity to meet yourself with more tenderness can be really helpful. Instead of saying, “I can’t believe I’m here again” asking ourselves, “What can I offer myself this time around that I haven’t before?” Can be really helpful.
More than anything, remembering that there’s no finish line to healing– there’s no perfect way to do this. True healing is about presence, the ability to be with ourselves no matter what we’re feeling or is going on, to be able to see the entire picture and meet ourselves with the same grace and love that we extend to others. I hope that this week, no matter what is happening, you will trust your experiences enough to realize that you are exactly where you need to be, and that healing is a lifelong journey.