ChatGPT: Reassurance Seeking and the Death of Intuition

Rachel Chada, MHC-LP

Sitting in the back of a taxi on the way home from a great first date, you pull up your messages and begin to type. “Had so much fun! Would love to do it again soon.” As you stare at the message, your mind starts to flood with questions: is it too soon to send this? Should I say something else? Does the period at the end make it sound too serious? Will I come on too strong if I use two? What if this message sounds so normal to me now, but I wake up tomorrow morning and discover that I actually said something completely unhinged?

Maybe you screenshot the draft and send it to the group chat to get their  thoughts. Maybe you FaceTime your mom and have her listen as you draft the message. Maybe you get home and poll your roommates on what they’d send. 

Now, with generative AI, you can just open up a browser, head to ChatGPT, and ask it to draft the message for you. Problem solved? Anxiety cured? 

Not necessarily. 

OCD, Self-Trust, and Seeking Reassurance

OCD is colloquially referred to as the disorder of doubt. This doubt is often born from core beliefs that lead to a lack of self-trust. Those beliefs could sound like: I will hurt those I love. I’m a bad person. I am unlovable. I’m not enough. From these core beliefs, obsessions and compulsions are triggered. Obsessions are “unwanted, intrusive thoughts, images, or urgeres that trigger intensely distressing feelings” and compulsions are the “behaviors an individual engages in to attempt to get rid of the obsessions and/or decrease distress” (International OCD Foundation).

For folks with OCD, this doubt could manifest in a myriad of obsession/compulsion patterns: checking for contamination, performing routine rituals for safety, and seeking reassurance from others. Reassurance seeking is often overlooked as a compulsion because at its core, it’s something we all do in some capacity. Humans are not solitary creatures—we thrive in community and find value in others’ thoughts and opinions. Seeking advice or guidance isn’t inherently a problem, but when the reassurance seeking becomes necessary to function, or the level of distress is so high without the reassurance, that’s when we consider it compulsive.

Bypassing Relational Impact with ChatGPT

Often, folks with reassurance seeking compulsions feel motivated to work on them when they begin to notice the impact they have on their relationships. Understandably, when you rely on others in your life to be your source of intuition, it can put a strain on those relationships. Some may experience reassurance seeking as an imbalance in the dynamic or they may be uncomfortable with your reliance on their thoughts and opinions. 

Because many of my clients live with OCD and anxiety, I’ve seen a surge in the use of ChatGPT as a solution to the relational impact of reassurance seeking. Many folks are recognizing the impact reassurance seeking has on their loved ones and are bypassing the social repercussions by offloading the reassurance onto their new AI friend. Listen, I get it! There’s no shame in wanting to preserve your relationships, and AI positions itself as a simple solution.

The result isn’t so simple, however.

The Pitfalls of ChatGPT 

Setting aside (very real) environmental concerns, ChatGPT feels dangerous to a lot of therapists.

From my perspective, ChatGPT is much more readily available for reassurance seeking. There aren’t the same logistical guardrails that happen with other types of obsession and compulsion patterns. Theoretically, it can provide an unlimited source for reassurance, creating a ripe setting for compulsing again, and again, and again. Without any relational consequences, I’m also seeing a decline in the motivation to work on the compulsion and a continued weakening of the self-trust muscle.

Now, while it’s not my job to tell my clients what compulsions they need to work on, I can’t help but notice the ripple effect that overreliance on ChatGPT has on self-trust and intuition as a whole.

Final Thoughts

My hope isn’t to shame anyone using ChatGPT as a source of reassurance, but my intention is to name it as a distinct, potentially more dangerous, avenue for compulsing.

When, and if, you’re using ChatGPT, remember that it can’t attune to you like another person can. AI can’t recognize when you’re getting flooded or notice when the reassurance seeking heightens to a level of being compulsive. For yourself, understand that it could be a part of your OCD pattern. Naming it as a form of reassurance seeking is always the first step to working on it.

For folks experiencing compulsive reassurance seeking or who are hoping to work on their OCD or anxiety, I integrate ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) with ACT (Acceptance & Commitment Therapy) to better understand and decrease the impact of your OCD or anxiety. Our goal in therapy is to reduce the distress and strengthen the self-trust muscle, all while exercising some self-compassion.

OCD and self-doubt can muddy the picture, but your intuition is there, it just might take time and effort to see it clearly.

___________

Want to get started? Rachel Chada, MHC-LP is a psychotherapist for individuals and couples. Reach out here to book your free, 15-minute consultation.