Adjusting to New York Life

Advanced Clinical Fellow Bec Havian

Whether you just graduated from college and are seeking an adventure, or have moved to the city in pursuit of greater opportunities, the adjustment to New York Life (capital “L,” intended) is a doozy.

For many newcomers, the transition to New York marks a significant departure from the more slow-paced, rural environments they’re likely accustomed to - even folks from smaller “cousin” cities like Boston face a fierce transition in moving here. The most secure, centered individuals can find themselves lonely amidst the sheer volume of people and the unrelenting cacophony of the streets. To be lonely though not alone is a particularly isolating experience, and one that is not uncommon for those adjusting to this place and pace of life.

In an effort to counteract the (sometimes) isolating nature of this place, it can be helpful to develop a metaphorical toolbox of coping strategies for grounding oneself. Here are a few methods we’ve found to be useful:

Find some green space and plant yourself there

Yes, some of you may bristle at this “hippie” approach, but the power of setting up camp in a park on a Saturday afternoon with a mustard-clad street vendor hot dog cannot be overstated! Trust me.

Break out the fiction

If you’re reading this blog, you’re likely inclined towards the more “personal growth”- leaning genres, but there’s nothing like the power of immersive, transcendent fiction to break someone out of a funk - particularly if you’re prone to ruminating or inundating yourself with psychoeducational.

Scope out your local haunt

Let’s create some ritual! Routine can be incredibly supportive to the process of adjusting to a place, so follow the Friends cast’s lead and hunker down in a local cafe on Sunday mornings, or pick a nearby bar and meet up with friends after work on Fridays.

These are just a few suggestions - try to flesh out your personal toolbox by building upon activities that, historically, have brought you comfort, and maybe try integrating new options along the way. Wherever you go, there you are. While the transition to the city may feel challenging and at times doubt-inspiring, just remember: you are with you wherever you go.